BEAUTIFUL LOVE

I still remember that day when i see u for the first time.

I still remember that prayer assembly where our principal introduced you to all of us.

i still remember the thought that came in my mind at once " God please send this principal's daughter in my class rum."

I still remember when an angel entered in my class with a tweety bag in her hands.

I still remember your that mark beneath your eye,  more on ur cheek, that u got from your lil bro in fight

I still remember our first talk how you told me "We have shifted here and will live in other part of school"

I still remember that day because from thn I fall in love with my school too.

I still remember those stairs frm where u used to come down to the class.

I still remember those sleepless night which i had to suffer in that age when i did not exactly know what the love is all

about.

I still remember that reflection of light, that fall on my floor through the window at night, at which i used to stare all night engaging myself thinking about you.

I still remember that level of my curiousity for figuring out why i m thinking of u that much.

I still remember how ur all glimpses were used to rule my mind which was my achille heel at that time.

I still remember how i used to sway my chair towards you during the class.

I still remember ur pearl like handwriting and how desperately i tried to have some chance to talk to you by borrowing ur

notes.

I still remember the manner you used to write my name on blackboard when i found talking in class.

I still remember the way u screamed hell out on me when i accidently came in your room watching you just doing makeup.

I still remember how you used to lick the red imlee and than ur turn to red fingures that u take out from ur bag in class.

I still remember our fight we had, the moment  we were ever so close to each other.

I still remember your first touch to me, a sign of care, when you put your hand on my shoulder to stop me going into a haunted house during our trip.

I still remember when i was making your sketch in my art book, and caught by my di doing this.

I still keep that wooden pencil box that you gifted me on my 10th birthday.

I still remember the final day of our school, when the results were declared, and you topped surpassing me.

I still remember your happy face at last day, which was somewhere trying to hide your tears.

I still remember the day when we were together at a place for the last time.

I STILL REMEMBER YOU, MY FIRST LOVE, THOUGH I NEVER TOLD YOU ANYTHING ABOUT THIS.

I STILL REMEMBER YOU, MY 6TH CLASS, WHEN YOU CAME IN MY LIFE, WHEN I SEE YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME.

KHUSHI

A Ford was moving at a snail's pace with its headlights off in midnight. Crossing the silent streets of New Delhi it stopped at a place where street lamps were out of light. “Over there!” An old lady at the front seat of the car pointed towards an absolute dark place taking her hand out of the window. Her face was emotionless, firm as a strict dictator. A mother was feeding her new born girl child for the first and last time on the back seat of the car. She was in pain of recent delivery of her baby; her pain was bleeding through eyes in shape of tears that she was constantly wiping. They paused there for a while with the hesitation of not doing a misdeed. “What are you looking at? Make it fast.” Grandmonster (grandma) ordered his son who was on the steering wheel.

Little angel was sleeping after taking first dose of meal from her mother. Men snatched the baby from the hands of her wife. He wrapped her from mouth to leg in a white sheet then took some steps forward to the dark and finally disappeared into it. He stopped inhale and placed his hand on nose as garbage was stinking as toxin. Little angel was then placed onto the heap of junk. Men took his steps back and raced his Ford Car straight to home. “She gave birth to a dead boy, we have buried him.” Sad news was given to the relatives. Mourning mother didn’t sleep that night.

It was seven in the morning, when a nun heard a baby crying while passing by the public dust bin. She stopped, and concentrated on the voice of baby blubber. She lifted the box of garbage bin aside and was terrified to see a new born baby crying endlessly. Nun picked the baby in her arms without wasting a second. She fused the baby to her chest just to make her relax. Fortunately the nun was associated to an NGO who used to work for the welfare of orphans. She took the baby to her organization. Mother Jane was the director of orphan organization. Jane saw the baby child; she was barely 12 hours old. She was a beautiful baby, white in color, black starry eyes and soft hair increasing her charm. They fed the little hungry girl. Little girl was calm after a while, looking at the women around her, she smiled and scattered her innocence in the souls of nun and mother Jane.

She is a gift of Jesus to this world, and we are very lucky to have her in our cottage. She is stunning. She makes us joyful with her smile. We will call her “Khushi” from now onwards. The little girl smiled taking button of nun’s scarf in her tiny fingers.

It had been four years when Khushi was playing and growing up on the soil of same orphanage. khushi always carry a doll with her.  It was a usual day when all the children were eating at the big round dining table. Khushi took a spoon full of curd and poured it on the table. Children observing her laughed on her silly act. She saw all the children are laughing so she again did the same thing. All children went to laughing on a node; khushi was repetitively pouring curd on the table. Mother Jane came and asked her not to do so but khushi was in mischievous mood. She threw the bowl on mother Jane. This made her angry and from that day khushi was not allowed to go for evening walk for one week as punishment. As a schedule all the children were used to go for an evening walk to the park under the guidance of a nun each day. Going out to the park was the most lovable thing for khushi so it was a kind of third degree penalty for her. This punishment made khushi more violent.

Khushi was a different kind of girl among all. Her behavior was annoying. This put all the sisters and care taker in doubts. They all decided to take khushi to a doctor. After number of medical tests doctor reads the report. “She may be growing physically but her mental growth does not match her age” Doctor states.  She was a mental patient.

From that day she was under extra care of the sisters and mother Jane. Khushi was always very curious to go to the park. She wanted to roam around all the time. Considering repetitive requests and violent nature of khushi , mother Jane  arranged two outings of park for her. But still she was very eager to visit park each day. She spend six more years of her life. One day she fooled the guard and jumped the gate of cottage, she roamed around the city all the day with a doll in her hand. It was a one way journey for her. She finally reached the park and slept over a bench when it approached to night. A girl was missing from the cottage. Earth had been slipped under the feet of Mother Jane. A missing report was lounged at police station. It was impossible to search a girl in the city where more than 50 such reports are lounged each day and where more than 200 parks exist. She never came back to the cottage.

A guard in the morning found her sleeping on the bench of park. He asked her address but with the exchange of words he came to know that girl is not mentally balanced. Guard had his contacts with the Mahila Ashram at Hyderabad. He contacted them and managed to send Khushi at Ashram. It was a place where girls over the age of ten were used to do craft work for their living. That Ashram was more like a shelter for such girl. Ashram was running under the effect of Director Suniti. She was a generous lady who was very kind to all the girls residing in her Ashram. They also had a lady warden Kamla who was living in the Ashram with the girls.They had three watchmen Raghu, Raman, and Sampat. They were giving protection to the girls since years. All of them had their eye on Khushi since they day she arrived there. All of the girls and management of the Ashram were well known about the mental condition of Khushi.

Though khushi was 15 years old now but her mental condition was like a five year old child. She still used to carry her doll and play with her in the garden of Ahsram. In the span of five years she also made some of the girls her friends. Khushi was loved by everyone in the Ashram because of her childish behavior. On the journey of her unnamed life she fall sick one day. She was vomiting endlessly when her mates noticed she is not well. Director Suniti arranged a lady doctor Seema , who gave them shocking news of her one month pregnancy. It was completely out of their mind how Khushi can get pregnancy. Though there was only three men in the complete staff, needle of doubts were pointed on them. Suniti tried to ask whatever wrong happened with khushi. Khushi was only saying “there were three men” in her childish tone. Suniti filed a report on three watchmen. Under the pressure of police investigation they all accepted their crime. They used to rape Khushi making her unconscious by giving her pills. It all happened with the agreement of Kamla who used to take money in return of it. They also revealed that they were doing this for three years. All of the watchmen and kamla were now behind the bars. But pregnancy of Khushi was a big problem for Suniti and Doctor Seema.

They all decided to abort her pregnancy. But for doing this they first went to court for permission. A case was lounged on behalf of Doctor Seema to access permission of abortion of khushi’s pregnancy. A girl who is not mentally balanced, who don’t even know what had happened to her must not be allowed to deliver a child. How a girl would care and nurture her baby when she is not able to take care of even herself. Kindly make the judgment as soon as possible because with each day passing the baby inside the womb is growing. These were some of the points of the plea that they put against the judge. But this is Indian law system which took four months to conclude on a point of judgment. After four long crucial months they ordered to abort her pregnancy. The news becomes headlines of a local news paper. Doctor seema and Suniti were happy with the result as they approached to take their action.

A social government lawyer Shikha put her writ at high court against the order of District court in same case. She did this after reading news about Khushi’s case in a local newspaper. The girl has four months of pregnancy and it is risky for her life to go for abortion in such case. In spite of doing abortion we should ask the girl personally if she want to have a baby. These were among the points in the writ of lawyer Shikha. She was probably right to her points. India is a republic and everyone has a right to raise her voice against the wrongdoing. Shikha was doing the same. Doctor Seema and Suniti were again prohibited to abort her pregnancy. It took two more months to High court to comprehend the points of lawyer Shikha. High court approved Shikha’s writ and lapse the order of Lower court.

Khushi gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Who was declared mentally and physically fit by the doctors. Raghu, who was her official father refused to take responsibility of her girl child. But Khushi had her real baby doll with her. Khushi’s baby was the most precious thing for her. She became mother at the just sixteen. Her life was more beautiful with the arrival of her baby. Khushi started to take things seriously from then. Doctor said mental condition of Khushi is now getting better because of her child.

From the posh colonies to the slums area of India, Girl child is very often getting treat like this. Why we always wish for a son. Why a girl is not powerful in our country. Why she always live in the cage of restriction. Is not it a big question on our society governed by Men who has always been killed Khushi of a girl. Countless girls have been tortured to death for the sake of money and honor in our country, and the rest who survive are getting raped like Khushi.

EK MULAKAT

Food was not spicy but I was making sound of ssssss because of excitement, after swallowing water I pulled my phone out of the charger, it reads two unread messages. “whr r u ?” , “I m waiting”, these were the msgs from same girl Richa I was going to meet after  four long months. I called back but she dint pick the call, I replied “on my way, just 5 mins”.

My trimmer was enough charge to trim my shave completely at least two times but I dint had enough time to give it a go. I rubbed my finger on my chin; a 3 days old hard beard was giving friction sound. I was recalling her words that she said when we met last time “come in clean shave next time.” Shit I was again going in same look. Never mind she will love me anyway, I thought and walked over two blocks and one street. “Be there at juice corner I m at 5 min distance” I got next msg. I can’t understand why girls always keep texting and never pick up the call at such moments;  they want us to live in the darkness of suspense until we met. Well I was already there.

Richa was ex-girlfriend of one of my best friend, we knew each other very well, at her breakup I was the only one with her. She used to cry in the shade of my arms. On those emotional moments we spent some cozy time with each other. On the surface of broken heart, between the heats of intense pain of breakup, I don’t know when she became so close to me that we couldn’t stop kissing each other. That could be a sigh of relief for her but I was having a tremor at the depth of my heart. We had an agreement same evening that it is not love, we will never let it happen again.  Neither she nor I was ready for any melodrama. We covered the flowers of love with dew of morning, we did not want those flowers to rise and let the butterflies sing over them.

I saw her coming, she was in white jeans and blue top she was more looking like an updated version of facebook. Her face was glowing like she had a golden facial three days ago, and which was glowing at its peak fulfilling its promise. I smiled at her giving stretch to all possible muscles of my face, but she did not respond. It left me neutral on the face and crying from the inside. She was still 50 meters away from me. I was keep looking at her. Finally after a long lasting wait and at a distance of 5 steps she eye contacted me and gave a smile of happiness.

“I must say you are glowing, and u has also lost some weight in four months. “ I said, I was true to myself. “Don’t lie I know you are perfect in making girls happy through that, you are looking more mature your pimples are gone your face is more clear than before.” she said while giving me the chocolate that she had bring for me. “Oh thanks, I know you are also speaking true.”I said and took the chocolate and slide it into the bag that I was carrying on my back, my purpose of doing that was to keep my hands free so that I could hold her hand through walking. “How rude…!!! You dint bring anything for me and also hiding the chocolate in your bag, you don’t even want to share it with me?” she was keep criticizing me from the very first moment we met. When girls are less confident or they are not sure about their makeup, if it is suiting them or not, they start to feel nervous and by criticizing the person next to her or by asking them the irrelevant question about the weather they try to transfer their panic to the other person and most of the times they are successful in doing it. “No it does not like that, first let’s eat something else, we can have your chocolate after that” I said avoiding any kind of pressure from myself and also giving her confidence.

“Are we going anywhere or we are supposed to spend our evening at this place only?” she said in a tone that she want me to choose a place to visit. “We are going to post office, I have some letters to post” I said as it was already on my mind. “Oh really, my boy meets me after four months and he is taking me to the post office for his work, that’s thrilling, I will never forget this” she said smiling, pissing her teeth, her face was reflecting her excitement. “What are those letters about?” she asked with curiosity.  “These are the love letters of my friend. I am supposed to post it to the address of his girl” I don’t wanted to tell it but still I can’t stop myself. “Oh really what is written on them, I want to read, lets read together.” She said as the most important and interesting thing in world was to read love letter of my friend. “ No way that is not going to happen we are not going to read it in any case, my friend has believed in me, I can’t go against his faith I m sorry”. I rejected her request in very strict manner. “Please ,please, please..!!! You can’t do this to me, nobody will ever come to know about it please lets read it” she pleaded more in a hope that I will melt down against her request. “I am sorry babe, only thing that I can do I will send you love letters written by me, you can take the feel of that later” I tried to convince her with my promise which was clearly fake.

I posted the letters on its destination. She was definitely not happy for not showing her letters but at the same time she was praising me inside for not going against my friend’s faith. “Now we are going to McD, it’s on the walking distance, at the other side of road” I said while holding her hand looking at the sky which was going to get dark in some time. She nodded and tightened the grip of her hands like she was afraid of upcoming dark. I think it was the best part of my day when all the vehicles moving on the road were honking at their peak, when people were leaving their office and were in haste to reach home to remove their socks as soon as possible, when a women was busy in iterative bargaining with a vegetable keeper to save her five rupees when Earth was moving on its constant speed and leaving the Sun behind to give us a look of beautiful stars, it was me with a girl who was feeling comfortable with me, holding my hand firmly. Yes I was definitely not in any haste not even  in the race of world whereas I was involved with a girl whose heartbeat was in rhyme with my heartbeats. Who was looking in the same direction I was looking at.

 Disturbing the silence of love, she asked me a beautiful question for which she was preparing herself from a long time. “Do you love me ?” her eyes were down to the road, her small dimple on her face was showing that she was smiling a bit………..

Her grip on my hand was getting tighter which was forcing me to love her back. Her question put me in trouble for some time. Should I tell her how badly I was missing her during the time we were apart? Am I ready to fall into love again? Should I tell her about my past how I was got ditch by the girl I loved more than my life? Should I tell her that she has rule my mind since the day we have kissed? I was in a bit trouble. I was a bit worried about my past but her grip on my hand and the way my fingers were filling the gaps between her fingers was my present I don’t wanted to lose the precious moment. I was in my judgment. According to her I was taking more time than required, her smile was gone because of silence, she loosen the clench of her hand, which made me realize it is the last moment to rejoin her question.

“Yes that’s the lone reason I am here with you spending quality time.” I said giving force to the grip of hands. My sentence brought smile to her look. “Why you took this much of time to utter your feelings?” she asked, her question was genuine. “I was not ready for such question” I lied, I had no other option. “I love you too, I love you from the day you hugged me while crying, I can never watch you crying, I wanted to make your hurting smaller, and I wanted to witness you in good spirits. I love you every single flash of an eye. I was craving to meet you, finally we are here.” I stopped, I wanted to speak more and more and more but her unexpected swift hug made me stopped in middle. “I love you, be mine forever” she said in a very soft voice, very close to my ear as she was in my arms. “I love you too, no doubt.” I said removing her from my arms as that was not a perfect area to get so close to each other.

We decided not to go to McD as it was already dark and getting late to her. We sat on the public chairs fixed under a traveler’s shelter along the road side. We talked for about half an hour. We were completely drenched in love of each other. Flowers were growing in the night, desires were rewarded without breaking any star, bonds had been formed. Life was beautiful.

FEELING BLUE

I AM TYPING IN CAPS AND FONT IS ALSO LARGE FROM USUAL. THE REASON BEHIND THIS, IT MAKES MORE IMPRESSION ON THE MIND OF READER HOWEVER I DON’T WANT ANYBODY TO READ IT. IT IS POSSIBLE THAT IN THE FLOW OF FEELINGS I CAN COME TO HINDI TO EXPRESS MY FEELING MORE ACCURATELY FURTHER IN THIS NOTE. I STARTED TYPING ON 07:41 PM, EVENING OF 9^TH SEPTEMBER 2011. MY 19^TH BIRTHDAY IS NOW ON A DISTANCE OF ONE WEEK. MUSIC OF FEELING BLUE IS GOING THROUGH MY HEADPHONE. I AM OCCUPIED WITH ALL THE THINGS NECESSARY TO LIVE A PEACEFUL LIFE HOWEVER THERE IS SOMETHING WHICH IS NOT LETTING ME TO DO IT. MY LIFE IS NOT AT THE POINT WHERE I SUPPOSED IT TO BE ON. I AM NOT MENTALLY BALANCED.

IT’S THE MONTH WHICH I LOVE THE MOST CAUSE MY BIRTHDAY COMES IN IT BUT THIS TIME IT’S THE SAME MONTH IN WHICH I  HAVE BEEN CRIED SO MANY TIME, SOMETIMES WHEN THERE IS NO ONE IN ROOM, SOMETIMES WHEN I FEEL THERE IS NO ONE IN MY LIFE. EVEN THIS TIME I AM NOT SO EAGER TO CELEBRATE MY BIRTHDAY. I HAVE NOT YET EVEN ASKED TO MAA FOR NEW CLOTHES, WHICH I HAVE BEEN BRAUGHT ON MY EACH BIRTDAY SO FAR.

I WANT TO CRY ON EXTENT. I DON’T SAW MY FACE BUT PEOPLE NOTICE MY SWELLED EYES. I DON’T SMILE WITHOUT A REASON, HOWEVER I DON’T FIND ANY REASON. I DO IGNORE PEOPLE BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO TALK, THAT IS MAKING MY LIFE MORE ISOLATED. THAT’S WHAT I WANT THIS TIME, A PERFECT ISOLATION, ALL ALONE. ITS BEEN MORE THAN 3 AND HALF YEARS WHEN I LEFT MY HOME. MY HOME WHERE I LEARNED THE VALUES OF LIFE WHERE I NEVER FOUND ANY SORROWNESS IN REAL, WHERE I NEVER CAME TO KNOW WHAT IS THE PAIN OF MISSING YOUR DEAR ONES. I MISS MY MOM, MY PAPA MY BOTH DIDI, MY GRAND MAA, MY CHEENU. I MISS THAT TIME WHEN WE WERE ALL TOGETHER, WE LIVED, LOVED, LAUGHED AT THE EXTENT. WE SHARED EVERYTHING WE GOT.

BUT NOW ITS TIME, WHICH CHANGES EVERY MINUTE, EVERY SECONDS, EVERY MOMENT AND WITH THAT, LIFE ALSO CHANGE. NO DOUBT ,I HAVE NO COMPLAINT TO MY FAMILY MEMBERS, THOUGH I CAN BET ON IT THAT I HAVE THE BEST FAMILY IN THE WORLD THAT COULD ANY ONE CAN EVER HAVE.

BUT I HAVE BOOK OF COMPLAINTS TO MY LIFE. IT’S A SUBJECT ON WHICH I CAN WRITE A BOOK, ASKING MY LIFE WHY IT DID EVERYTHING TO ME. AND AS A CONCLUSION I WILL LIKE TO FIND WHY I AM NOT HAPPY WITH YOU.

I AM REMEMBERING THE FIRST YEAR OF MY GRADUATION WHEN MY FIRST SESSIONAL WAS ON MY 15,16 AND 17^TH SEPTEMBER. WHEN AT THE END OF 15^TH I HAD SO MANY EXPECTATION FROM SO MANY PEOPLE TO REMEMBER MY DAY AND THEIR ATTEMPT TO MAKE ME REMEMBER THAT THEY REMEMBER IT IN REAL. BUT I WAS WRONG INFACT I DIDN’T GET ANY RESPONSE FROM ANYONE AT THE RIGHT TIME. THAT DAY I CAME TO KNOW THAT HIGH EXPECTATIONS GIVE YOU HIGH FALL, THAT MAKES YOU FEEL BAD. SO I LEARNED.
ITS NOW AGAIN IN FOURTH YEAR I AM HAVING SESSIONAL ON SAME DATES INCUDING MY BIRTHDAY. BUT THIS TIME I AM NOT LIKE BEFORE , WITH THE CHANGE OF THREE YEARS I HAVE ALSO BEEN CHANGED COMPLETELY. I HAVE NO EXPECTATIONS FROM ANYONE, ACTUALLY I DON’T WANT ANY ONE TO WISH ME ON THE DAY, BECAUSE I ACTULLY KNOW WHO REALLY MEAN IT.

DURING MY GRADS I MET SO MANY PEOPLE , SOME OF THEM DIDN’T TOUCHED ME AT ALL, MAJOR OF THEM WERE ONLY FOR CRITICIZING ME. A BIG NUMBER OF THEM DIDN’T ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND ME, VERY FEW OF THEM WERE ALWAYS THERE WITH ME. IF I TALK ABOUT MYSELF, I TRIED TO GIVE EVERYONE CHANCE TO HAVE A NICE TUNING WITH ME. THAT COULD BE MY BIGGEST FAULT. I SHARED SOME OF THINGS WITH SOME PEOPLE I TRUST, THOUGH SOME OF THEM WERE NOT TRUSTWORTHY. WHILE LIVING HERE I EXPERIENCED A WORLD. I WATCH EVERYKIND OF PEOPLE, INFACT EACH OF THEM MADE ME LEARN.

I AM NOW FED UP OF EVERYTHING. EVEN I AM FED UP OF TYPING ALSO. I DON’T WANT ANY ONE. I AM FED UP OF BREAKING OF FAKE PROMISES. I DON’T BELIEVE ON ANY ONE. I DON’T WANT TO TALK ANYONE. I WANT TO CRY. JUST CRY. I DON’T WANT ANYONES SHOLDERS TO PUT MY HEAD ON TO CRY. I DON’T WANT ANYONES LOVE, I DON’T WANT ANYONES CARE. MY FAMILY IS ENOUGH FOR THAT. EVERYONE WHO  CAME IN MY LIFE, ON WHOME I TRUST, HURTED ME, MADE ME FEEL GUILTY OF CHOOSING THEM AS MY CLOSE ONES. EVERYONE DID THE SAME SOMWHERE AT SOME POINT IN MY LIFE. EXCEPTIONS ARE EVERYWHERE, BUT THEY ARE REALLY FEW.

SO AT LAST I WILL LIKE TO SAY THAT I AM NOT FEELING GOOD. SOMETHING IS MISSING FROM MY ONGOING LIFE. AND THAT IS HAPPINESS. AND I KNOW THIS, TODAY AGAIN I WILL CRY TO FEEL SOME LIGHT. AND TOMORROW AGAIN PEOPLE WILL NOTICE MY DIFFERENT EYES. BUT NO ONE OF THEM WILL TRY TO FIND OUT THE REASON BEHIND THOSE WET FED EYES. AND I KNOW THIS TOO THAT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I WILL CRY ON MY BIRTHDAY, BECAUSE I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO FIND ANY REASON TO SMILE.

I AM STOPPING WRITING ON 08:42 PM. AFTER A ONE HOUR OF TYPING ON MY LAPTOP, I AM FEELING A LITTLE BETTER THAN I WAS ONE HOUR BEFORE.

COLOR OF LOVE

I was sleeping in the dreams of roses, and a soft whisper of a rose leaf on my lips forced me to open my eyes, she was at the side of wall, still lost in the fragrance of touch. she was silent like a night drenched in the moon light, her eyes were talking like a sound of cold wind sliding through my ear in that shiny night. before her touch i felt her hair on my face, and before her hair i felt her slow motion towards me. it was call of love, it was one of the color of love.

yes, shes still painted in the color of my love, like some paintings, which are impossible to understand by others, others only see a pattern of color in a canvas, but she and me can see the story through the painting. why she is doing this to me, i was in my thoughts, because she loves me. why she is preparing coffee for me, why she is twisting spoon in maggie for me moreover why she is kissing me day and night, why she is giving me all such wonderful moments, why she is playing with the colors of my memories. though i am thank full to her for all her creativity on my heart, but how would i be able to move on once she is not there. 

It was definitely love. i can confess that she was not my first love, and even I dont have any idea whether i was her first or not. but in the rainbow of intimacy which had blossomed after the rain of love, we were enjoying all the seven colours of our life. at that occasion i failed to realize this rainbow is not going to last forever. like all the drops when travelling in the sky reflects the colors and lost their significance when colliding to the earth, rainbow disappeared without leaving a single print of it.

I was not a victim of broken heart, because i somehow still alive, in fact i faced the helplessness , restlessness uneasiness, failures, mistakes but not a broken heart. i dint remember how I talked to her for the first time, not even this how I met her for the last time. but I remember all the things that happened with us between these two instants. yes I admit she is the greatest mistake of my life.

I Failed, I Failed, I Failed.

While cleaning up the mess….

when it came to you…..

I was confused…..

What to do…..

I failed to categorise…..

Yours signs, your memories…...

whether to forget or to memorise……

or to convert into stories……

I cleaned everything…….

except you from the mind…….

it was not intentional…….

I wasn’t able to do it fine…....

I drank the poison…..

Put myself to fight……

I vomit everything out……

it was you still inside……

I cried the oceans……

jumped in valleys and fell……

while erasing you from heart…..

I failed, I failed, I failed…….

......YOU AND ME......

I CAN ONLY SAY THESE WORDS.....
BABY PLEASE JOIN MY WORLD......
YES ITS ME, REAL OF ME.....
ITS ONLY ME, LONELY ME......


WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT YOU, ABOUT YOUR DIGNITY......
I FIND MYSELF LOST IN YOU, LOST IN YOUR BEAUTY.......
WORDS, CAN NOT EXPLAIN THAT WORLD......
WHERE I GET INTO, WHENEVER I THINK OF YOU.......


I DONT SLEEP AT THE NIGHTS......
BUT I DREAM ALL THE TIME........
I THINK ABOUT YOU, ABOUT YOUR STUPIDITY.......
AND I GET INTO BEAUTIFUL SIGHTS......


I LOOK UP THERE AT BLACK SKY.......
IN NIGHTS ITS NEVER BEEN EASY.......
TO FIND THAT GORGEOUS SIGHT.....
WHEN LOOKING ON THOSE CLOUDS, I  SAY ,ITS YOU AND ME........


WHEN YOU ARE NOT AROUND ME....
YOU REMAIN IN MY EYES OF MIND.....
I CAN ONLY SAY THESE WORDS......
OH GIRL, DO ENTER IN MY WORLD......